As a kind of antidote. Like a chemical balance in my life. And once I tried it - after all, I suggested Sarah tie me up first. It wasn't her idea at all - I knew that stuff was for me ... Sarah unlocked it, and I think ... I think Margaret defined me sexually. She taught me how to really focus and take pleasure from the right sort of pain."I cried a little as I remembered the good times with my Mistress, and how the delicious agonies I suffered at her hands had acted as a balm upon my troubled soul. The moment passed. Her vile duplicity could still made me coldly furious."Shit Steve, in a way, once I went on the run with Sarah, I had nowhere else to go but here. Losing her for the second time hurt too much, and I just had ... I think I needed to hit rock-bottom. I needed the shame and pain ... and I didn't realise it until I met you, but most of all, I think I needed someone completely real, and unlike anyone I had ever known before ... I needed you ... and you were there ... here.". The three of us sat there for what seemed like a pregnant hour, but it was only maybe 30 seconds till my mom broke the silence. “Gwen,” she started, “you know I’ve been having some health problems lately and now I need to have surgery. Your dad and I have been talking it over and we’ve decided that we’re going to ask you to do something to help us.”I was shocked that mom was that sick and was worried that she was going to die. After thinking for a little bit, I asked her that very thing, “Mom, are you going to die?”“No, sweetheart, I’m not going to die, but some things are going to change in my body and that’s why we decided to bring this to you now,” she told me.“How does it involve me,” I asked?My mom thought for a few seconds and then began, “The surgery I have to have is to remove most of my female organs. They found a tumor on my uterus and some pre cancer cells on the bottom of my vagina so the doctor says he needs to take part of my vagina out too.”She hesitated a few more.
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